First night and first morning arising in my new apartment on Calle de los Tigres, in Panajachel, with a gorgeous volcano view. The Tigers will Protect me. Peace and Quiet and Inspiration Abounds!
Thank God I was able to find the grace and the strength to leave that soul-sapping "castle of conflict and confusion" that is called Posada Los Encuentros. I was surrounded by Devils and now I am free. I was only there for a little over one month, but it felt like a year. Make that YEARS. Like being in a prison camp waiting to find a way out. NOTHING in the world could be worth staying where one is not wanted, disliked, where one is being ripped off, ignored, damaged and destroyed by deceitful vengeful greedy individuals. This has NEVER happened to me in how many years? I can hardly remember. I have been in shock the whole time, as I haven't been treated like this since I was a child. Talk about ongoing trauma! But I hope it has helped me to see that damaged individuals can only damage others in return. All that is needed is to move away. Vote with one's feet. I am (luckily) not living in a dictatorship so I am fee to come and go as I please. It's up to me, my decision and my pocketbook. I decided no amount of money is worth giving up my emotional health and mental sanity. So. There. I AM GONE. I AM FREE! It's. All. Over. Now. Including. The. Silent. Shouting!
The spell is broken! All it took was being willing to "let go" of six months rent paid in advance (around $2,000) and being willing to go to court if I have to, to get it back. I've already talked to my lawyer and she is prepared to write a letter and file for me. Plus missing three other places, within ten to thirty minutes each, which is very unusual for me. Each week I would start another search. Finally I realized that no matter "how quiet I was, or how much I tried to comply and do nothing, say nothing, be invisible," nothing there was going to change. Just like growing up at home or living in NC in the negative space I was in. That's when I realized I was doing a "repeat performance" of "hoping things would change." Well, they didn't at Los Encuentros, they just got worse until I was in physical and mental and emotional danger. So finally I was ready to go to a hotel, and God saw fit to show me this last apartment which is perfect for now. I can't tell you the overwhelming loneliness I felt when first moving in, over the last three days, but thank God I was able to stick it out and now, freedom and bliss, all is well.
I got involved at Los Encuentros thinking "all my problems would be solved" and yet I had fear involved. Fear of the future, fear of buying the lots, fear of building. I thought L.E. would be able to help with all that, but instead they fed off all that. I hope I have learned some kind of lesson. What, I don't know, as most people in my life are positive influences. I guess all I can do is be prepared for those few negative ones that come along, and don't get involved financially with them, or at least for as little as possible. I hope - hope - hope I have learned my lesson now! And thank you thank you thank you for giving me the strength to leave. That's all it took. To "vote with my feet" and get up and go. Amen. Now it's just left for me to write the email to Richard requesting a refund, and list all the reasons why. I'll do that later when my strength returns.
No amount of money can be worth losing one' spiritual freedom (i.e. strength, courage, inspiration and joy), so I will have to look into the Wicked Witch and her Monkey Minions, as that is surely where I was living. The hotel part there is quite different, since people are only there for a few days. But stay a little bit longer, and Richard, Christian & Don Juan will begin "cooking your bones."
I have escaped with my life and NEVER ever will go back there again. Posada Los Encuentros is a firepit from hell. Every other day was another torture, and one never knew from what angle it would come. Just like growing up at "home." No wonder his wife left him!
But the best part is after considerable prayers and trying to live in freedom in my mind, the angels must have been looking out for me: I was able to find this beautiful larger place, and I can move back to my "real home" in Sid's place which is HUGE right near my lots on July 1st! This is the best news yet!
I can't wait; I can start drafting and building up a storm and hopefully help with the Pura Vida Recycling Program and build with the "ecobricks" (ecodrillos) technique they are using! I CAN'T WAIT!
