photo from Flickr, Catherine Todd, flickr.com/photos/catherinetodd/
Don't worry, Catherine...
Dear Catherine,
This will go in your way, I'm sure. These people sound aggressive and using and really hitting on you for money.
Go back to NC, take several deep breathes and think about how aggressive YOU want to be; because you may have to do that, you know? Never nice but often necessary.
If not tell me and I'll send you my favorite cousin from Florida, who's very nice but very muscled.
Here all is well. My butterfly tree, which I was sure would not survive at this altitude has and is flowering like mad; the purple flowers are covered all day by butterflies of all colors.I watch them for hours at a time, beats doing the dishes.
And come whenever you want!
Yours, Cat
Dear Cat,
You must have read my mind... just came back today from "mediation court" with the awful Richard Morgan, owner of Posada Los Encuentros, and his even-worse girlfriend who both verbally attacked and threatened me right in the judicial's meeting room. And he's an American! This happened right after the alcoholic girlfriend said her speech about how he is a man "muy tranquillo" and both of us started to laugh. We couldn't help it!
He is known all over town for being "un hombre muy malo" (a very bad man) with a terrible temper. Everyone has seen it as Mr. Morgan can't control himself. Especially when there's drinking involved (which seems to be quite frequent these days). They blew up in front of the mediation judge, and the moment she left the room went after me, raising fists and threatening words. I am very traumatized right now, but the young woman who went with me to translate (it's all in Spanish) told me not to worry about it, since no agreement was reached we will file in the main courthouse. The mediation judge said the same thing. After 2.5 years of tranquility and safety, I now have enemies and threats against me. All because I paid in advance. When will I ever learn?
This man is absolutely crazy. Just like my father, so it is doubly - or triply- (word) traumatizing. Thanks for writing. I've given up all ideas of building a house right now, but I hope when I get back my energy will return. I leave for the U.S. for one or two months to sell the rest of my personal property and come back here to "live." But starting off like this isn't so great, is it?
I will go to the "big court" and stand up for myself no matter what. Plus I can sue him in the states (which I will), since he says "he never signed anything" and the emails he sent me aren't valid here in Guatemala. He set me up from the beginning! What a rat. Does he really think he can get away with stealing money from me and there will be no consequences? I guess abusers never learn, do they? He beat his wife and she left him and divorced him, and now he starts in on me. He's like a barking dog baring his teeth going after everyone, a "barking dog on a chain." That's how the judicial office people described him after the hearing was over. They told me not to be afraid of him, and tomorrow I go to the police station to take out a restraining order against him. When will this all ever end? Who knows, but I will take all necessary steps to protect myself.
It doesn't look like he's learned anything at all, but the strange thing is I still feel sorry for him. I always did, even as I avoided him as much as possible. There seems to be some kind of spark that says he "wants to do well," but he is so conflicted and confused he's like a puppet on a string of his own emotions. Then add in "liar and cheat." Not a good combination. Threatening me isn't going to change his life except for the worst. His own anger will destroy him in the end, not me. So, these are his consequences, as my feeling sorry for him is not enough to let him keep $1,500.00 of my money, not enough to let him keep attacking me, but he seems to be such an angry unhappy person and everything is failing around him. It reminds me of a statement I read that "every attack is a cry for help" by one of the Course of Miracles people, I think it was... but he needs to find the Red Cross or the Coast Guard to come to his rescue, not me. No matter how much I wish I could help him, I am too traumatized by his behavior to be of any use to him. Except for money, and that's out. I have my own post-traumatic stress to bear. Oh, yes.
Richard Morgan apparently has no thought as to consequences of his actions, and by attacking me he is really only attacking himself. If only I could see that at "the time of action," when it is all being directed at me. He (and his awful girlfriend Natalie) are like dark thunderclouds wherever they go, and his hotel is a "castle of conflict and confusion." It is bound to fail as it already is. They move about town and smile occasionally and say "hi," but anyone that really knows them stays far away. I guess I'll be joining that club.
But I feel sorry for someone who is so blind to their own actions, and is completely controlled by their own anger. No good can come of it, and in the end, he (and she) are the ones that suffer the most. But I won't let them make me suffer anymore. Oh, No. Those days are over!
I will take care of myself, no matter how afraid I am to do so. If I have to, I will hire a bodyguard to go with me to court as well, and a video camera to film it all. Along with my lawyer and translator. God does provide us oftentimes with what we need (not all the time, but most of the time nowadays, anyway). I am a grown woman and this childhood fear and post-traumatic stress has got to end. NOW. Just because my father could beat us "at will" and we had no protection, the laws have changed both here and in Guatemala. Wonders of wonders!
People can't hurt others just because they feel like it anymore! Just because they can't or won't control themselves. Can you imagine? Raised fists don't cut it anymore. I guess the world really is changing around me, and I can - I hope - let go of my fear and see those brilliant changes around me, shining like newborn stars. I will pray and pray and ask God for guidance and for the strength and the will to learn to FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE in the MIDST of the negative. The Devil is always waiting on one's shoulder or just around the corner, but God always sends many angels, in and out of disguise. Right? Right.
Thanks so much for writing and sending green building info, and reminding me of the beautiful butterflies happily sipping nectar on a butterfly bush. It reminds me of what I am supposed to be focusing on NOW! I really need that now. Wish I were THERE, in my beloved France, looking at your volcanoes, RIGHT NOW! :) smile!
Yours, Catherine
P.S. I could use your cousin in Florida right now! LOL
I'm listening to the most beautiful, incredible music right now: Shira Kammen, "Music of Waters" on magnatune.com. You can listen to the whole album there, and download if you like. This is ethnic/celtic music like I've never heard before. Fantastic. Then listen to John Fleagle, medieval musician that Shira Kammen played with. Gorgeous in it's simplicity and beauty. magnatune.com/artists/albums/fleagle-bliss/hifi_play
Your environmental eco-build online magazine link is GREAT, I expect to use a lot of their ideas! I've already subscribed: E Magazine, emagazine.com/index.php
